kaka

assignment

2010-09-22T18:58:00.002+08:00

assignment assignment.. none stop!!
i need more time...!!
gonna skip my OT more often. ( ^$^ ) ;(

moving out wdl soon.
gonna miss this place.

Why does it take a minute to say hello and forever to say a goodbye?

working life

2010-06-29T21:03:00.003+08:00

Lazy to keep up this blog..

lazy to study...

lazy to excerise...

god...

i feel so sux..

so a loser..

life hasnt been smooth for quite some time already.

Be it friends, financial, health..

kind of like everything involve with me sux.

enough of my grumbling liao. :P

let me share with you my working life... ~~

before my ORD like any other soilder, i'm thinking which line to go into.

During my younger days, my ambition was to be a leader in army. But somehow it just didnt happen.

Strange...

So i believe someone have other plans for mi. (god?)

i erased that dream and moved on.

No skill no cert no talent. Really have no idea what kind of work i can do.

My brother introduced his friend HM to me.

HM is a financial planner. Seems to me that he is doing relatively well and also enjoyed his work alot.

So i set my mind and go for the interview. Soon i was part of their team. Or so i thought.

Before selling types of product, i need to have some license. So i went to apply for those tests.

Money inside my bank was only sufficiant for me to take 2 test plus 2 months of allowance.

And i actually failed both attemps. After failing such an easy test for 2 times, i believe someone have other plans for mi. :P

So i sent out resume to 3-4 company.

2 from construction engineering, 1 from CPF and 1 from SMRT.

All 4 replied. But somehow i only went for SMRT interview.

goshes...

Never in my life have i imagine myself working for SMRT. But guess thats the plan from that someone. :P

Day 1 in OCC- 18th June 2007.

Cool....

4 months of training is planned for me. During training i got to meet some colleagues from other department. Great to know them. Still in contact with them. :)

OCC is in a transaction phase.

When i went in, their average age was 48 years old. Now their average age is about 43. :)
Such a great drop. Reason is because, after i joined, there are 8 more new guys joined OCC.
All around my age. We are the so call the 3G (3rd Generation of OCC).

Honestly speacking, we the 3G is rather weak in terms of knowledge and attitude in work wise.
Hopefully by the time the old bird retired, we can obtain at least 80% of their knowledge and experience. And also hopefully the 9 of us remain in OCC. Which is rather unlikely. Other then myself going for upgrading, 3 other colleagues also went to take up degree. And seems like after they finished their degree they will leave.

This coming saturdae will be going to school to collect my course material. And school will start 2 weeks after that Omg... pray hard i can cope well and get good project mates..

This coming week also going back to Keat Hong camp for Mob briefing. Got to get new uniform liao..!! The one i will be wearing is the same one i wear 5 years ago. Super tight and short..

Lets hope i can focus on my study. :)

Army life

2010-04-06T17:54:00.003+08:00

Received a letter from Commando Unit for an recruitment interview.
Asked my brother for some opinion (he is a Commando Officer).
He say its ok to Not go for the interview. But in the letter, it did indicates that people who skip this interview will be punished..
Anyway, i went and got selected.
Before enlisting my mindset of army training is tough tough tough not to say about commando training.. ;p

Day 1
My parent drove me to the camp(PRC).
After the briefing from the army personnel we head to the canteen to try out the food that i will be having for my army term. Standard wise i guess is still reasonable. :)
Mum and dad went back after the orientation. And the next time i see them will be 2 weeks later.. :(

There were about 240 enlistee. We were divided into 5 platoon. I'm in platoon 5.
Platoon 5 stays in the 3rd floor which is the highest compare to the rest of the platoons.
And theres only 6 of us sharing one room compare to other platoon 12 or 18.
6 of us sharing one bunk meaning theres 3 double Decker beds. 2 of which is near to the windows and 1 near the door. (mine is near the window)
The name of my bunk mate-- Mervin Chiang LW--Keith Wong HH--Jason Loke KL
--Charles--Ah Meng--( last 2 were sleeping near the door)
We all know we got to stay close and help one another to get through this BMT phase,
I think all other enlistee have this so call 'common understanding'.

During the 9 weeks i can say i didnt give my best. I never lead in front of the platoon.
I never put in 100% for all the training. I will always conserve my energy to prepare for any surprise work out. ( i should have give my 100% abit regret)
But i'm the only 1 in my platoon to achieve perfect score for Ippt + Shooting.
Erm... quite proud la..

Time for vocation-
Vocation is not holiday or taking a break. Its choosing a course that you will be specialise in.
Theres Weapon, Boatman, Signal, Medic and lastly Leader. ( Leader is the course everyone wants to get into it. Because once you get in to the Leader course, you will pass out as a Sergent or an officer)
Due to my low profile showing during the BMT, my platoon mates were abit shocked to see me getting in to the Leader course. Well i was expected it from the beginning. :)
However i was never sure if its a good news for me. I injured my back during the field camp training. So i wasnt sure if i can make it through this new phase of training.
I think through alot and finally i come out with a conclusion.
I asked myself weather i want a career here or its just a two year of national service.
My answer is i didnt want to sign on as a army regular. With that, i'm clear of what i want and that is to not risk my back injury for the 2 years of glory.
I still went for the leader training for 4 weeks. And finally was granted to fall out after the 2nd request to my officer.
I was grouped with those who had fall out. Soon CH, Gary Lau, Francis Tan and Ian Tan were my new army buddies.. :P
We had lots of fun. Very memorable. Still in contact with Gary Lau. ( he is doing not bad, happy for him)
But april we were all sent to different camps... :(

Keat Hong Camp
I consider myself lucky because when i was going to my new bunk, i saw someone familiar,
Guang Hong. Its Gary Lau poly buddy. So with Guang Hong helps, i blend in the this new group of army friend very quicky.
Times flies and ORD lor...

Next will be working phase..

i read her latest blog- at times i like to pretend that everything is alright....
the sentences really meant nothing but i can feel it. feel it so close so real. So hurt..

Poly life

2009-12-28T14:56:00.002+08:00

Day 1 in Singapore Polytechnic was OK. As requested by the lecturer, everyone took turn to introduce them self. I gave a short one, name, secondary school, age and hobby. :P

Poly life is very different from secondary school life. People from North, East and west part of Singapore do have a slight different in term of culture. Background of their family is also very different from mine. I grew up in Jurong for the last 16 years. During those days my concept for people living in the East are more well off more English speaking.

My result was as usual from earlier school days, shaky... Averaging of a grade C for all my modules. Thanks to 3 unique friends that i met in poly. Without them i don't think i can complete my poly in 3 years.. Taking this opportunity to thank Tan Zi Xuan, Marvin Lim and Huang Ming Hui. Best of pals..
All 3 are pursuing their degree. I am still in very close contact with Marvin and Ming Hui. (Zi Xuan is in Australia waiting for his permit now)

Had two girl friend during my poly life. Both are also very nice to me. But it just didn't happen.
Wondering how are they doing now. :P

Army life next...

lunch box

2009-12-24T10:52:00.005+08:00

Part 2~> The lunch box

What do you mean by memory?

History? Past?

Well.. memory for me means valuable lesson. :P

Its afternoon, I am standing outside the school main gate directing the flow,

helping primary 1 student out of the school.

Zhou Xing Yong mother, sneakily carrying a lunch box to the school gate. I called on her, and she was kind of embarrassed and greeted me. "Mr Lim.."

<>"Hiyoo.. didn't i told you not to sent any more lunch box to your kid anymore..?
What if every mother starts to bring lunch box for their kids? You are going to jam the school gate!
These primary 1 to 3 kids are still very young. They might fall easily. We don't want that to happen. I'm sure YOU.. also don't want that to happen right..? You can ask Zhou Xing Yong to bring the lunch box to school himself right? So please.., promise this is the last time."

"erm... ok."

Zhou Xing Yong is a well behave, quiet and polite student in class. But he didn't like to mixed around with the other classmate. He keep everything to himself.

There was once i catch him sleeping in class. I was thinking since its a one off incident i shall close one eye and let him off this time.

The next day i catch him again. This time i woke him up and asked <>"what happen to you?"

He didn't say a thing. And again i decided to give him one last chance.

Third Day, same thing happen again! I asked him over. <>"Xing Yong, Whats wrong with you!?"

Zhou Xing Yong lifted his head. Tears flowing down his cheek. "My mum is in the hospital. Last night I stayed back and accompanied her in the hospital."

After what Xing Yong said, my anger disappeared. In fact, i actually felt ashamed of myself.
<>"Xing Yong, why is your mum in the hospital?"
"Its lung cancer."
I feel sorry for him. Thinking at his age, how will he be able to cope whats awaiting for him ahead.

While I am having dinner with Hui Xian my mind cant stop thinking those moment Xing Yong mum sneakily sending those lunchbox every noon for him.

The next day after school i went to the hospital to visit Xing Yong's mum.

When i first saw his mum i almost couldn't recognise her at all. She shelve her hair and is very thin now. She look really weak.

When she saw me, she tried to sit up and greet me but half way there she fall back to her bed.

<>"Auntie please don't move, rest on the bed."

"Mr Lim.. Thanks.. Thanks for coming..."

At the corridor Zhou Xing Yong dad said to me, "Only 2 more months left. hmm.. I really don't know what to do..?" Tears flow..

Back in school i went to the principle and told him what had happened to Xing Yong.

<>"Xing Yong dad is 50+ years old, his mum is leaving very soon. Can we do a fund raising? No matter how much the amount is, as long as we can help any single bit." Without any hesitation the principle agreed.

After 4 days of fund raising, we raised $52120. When i sent the money to the hospital, Xing Yong mum is already in a semi-unconscious state.

Xing Yong dad said "we are bringing her home today." Tear stored around my eye..

"My Lim, can you do me a favour?"

<>"Mr Zhou, please say.. as long as its within my power i will do it."

"Few days ago, she kept on holding Xing Yong hand saying she can no longer sent lunch for him anymore. Mr Lim, can you allow her to sent lunchbox to Xing Yong for 1 last time? Because only by sending lunchbox to Xing Yong that will make her feel shes doing her job as a mum." I turned my head wipe my tears off.. <>"Mr Zhou... no problem, i will do the arrangement."

Afternoon, an ambulance parked outside the school gate.

Mr Zhou and one paramedic helped Mrs Zhou on to the wheelchair.

My eyes filled with tears.. Standing at one side directing the flow of the crowd at the same time witnessing every bit of the moment.

Mr Zhou bought a lunchbox. The pale and very weak women on the wheelchair stretch out her thin arm to get the lunchbox. The paramedic slowly pushes her to the gate. At the other side of the gate, Zhou Xing Yong. He stretched out his arm as long as he could to get the lunchbox from his mums hand.

"MUM...", Xing Yong cried out loudly.

At this moment i saw Xing Yong's mum looked up trying to say something but was unable to do so. Shes just too weak to even speak.

Xing Yong cried out.. "MUM...!! Don't go.. I don't want you to go.. I don't allow you to go.. Don't leave me..!!"

The barrel blocking my tears from dropping finally gave way.. I am so cruel.. I felt ashamed of myself on what i have done in the past.

The next day Zhou Xing Yong mum past away.

After the funeral Mr Zhou came to see me. He return the money. He say this money can use to help more needy students. And he also thanked me for the help. He passed me the money and left.

Everyday i will look for Xing Yong to console him.

"Mr Lim.. Don't worry please.. I'm ok already."

"Mr Lim, in fact very early i already knew this is coming. Its not that i didn't want to disobey your order to stop my mum from sending lunchbox every afternoon. Its because only in the afternoon that i can have the chance to taste my mum cooking."

I am puzzled, <>"why only in the afternoon?"

"Mum is very weak, dad didn't allow mum to do any of the cooking and housework. It is only when dad left for work then mum can sneakily do the cooking for me. She insisted to sent me the lunchbox."

At this moment my mind can only think of Hui Xian..

My Hui Xian.. how i wish you were here. I finally understand what you mean by Mother Love....

Treasure every of your memory. For me, i will never forget the magical moment when Xing Yong mum passed the lunch box for the very last time to him. It taught me how powerful love can be. Memory is something that help you in any other way to make your life better but its something money cant buy...

-The End-

Cruel Mom

2009-12-17T14:53:00.003+08:00

Story--Cruel Mum--

Its Friday 3.30PM so quiet here. 2 hours ago this place is worst then a market, its noisy. I can see student running about in the con-course area, teacher chit chatting among them self, student having their lunch before going home. And its so different now. I am back alone in the class, eating my lunch fish burger with apple juice. Why didn't i go back home too? :p
Today was the deadline for the science project. And I forgotten to bring it to school. To make matter worst.. Nobody was at home. I was only ten so mum never trusted me with the house keys..
Anyway.. mum told me they will be back home by 4.30pm.

When i got home i was tired.. i went to the fridge and took out some snack and started watching cartoon...(shiok.)
Piak!! i was slapped by my mum. I was shocked and angry. Mum shouted "how can i have such a dirty daughter like you? Come back from school haven bath then watch cartoon eating snack. Don't you have any homework to do? We are going to have dinner soon. Quickly go and bath." I couldn't hold back any more and shouted back saying " Mum.. ITS Friday..!" Piak!.. Another slap.. (Mum) "Where have all your manner gone? How dare you shout back at your mother. You better go and bath now. "
I cried in the bathroom.. Mum have never hit me before. What happen? Is she mad already?
I hate her...

Since that eventful day my relationship with my mum got worst. My life changed. Everyday after school will be homework follow by housework housework housework.. She even force me to learnt to cook dinner. If i didn't obey her i will be slapped... I was always crying at night thinking why cant i have a better mum who can do all the house work and cook dinner for me?
Day by day my hate for her grew..

While i was having my end of year examination, mum was admitted to the hospital. I was forbidden for visiting her. 1 week later after i finished my exam, shes was still in the hospital. I told dad to bring me along to the hospital but he say " your mum didn't want to see you." I say to myself," better still.. save my trouble."
2days later she passed away..
During the funeral i didn't shed a single drop of tear for her.. i wasn't sad at all. i will never be sad for a mum like her. She is not only a lazy but mad mum.

I have a step mum when i was in my secondary 3. I called her Auntie Chen. She does the housework and cook our meals all by herself..
She never hit me and we were able to talk like friends. I'm really glad to her a new mum like her.

When i got my result for my 'A' level i was happy with my grade but felt lost. I wanted to further my studies with a degree but i know dad didn't have much saving left after just finished paying off the medical bill left by my 1st mum. But still, i was happy and cant wait to tell my dad about my good result. When i got home and told dad about my result he didn't say anything but he went back to his room and handed me a box. (Dad) "Your 1st mum told me to pass you this after you complete your JC."

I was reluctant to open it because i know shes trying to ask for my forgiveness which i will never do. Inside the box was 1 letter and an envelop.

In the letter~~
``Hui Xian I'm sure by the time you read this letter i would have been gone for a few years already. Do you still remember the 1st time i slapped you when you are in your primary four?
It was never easy to slap my own daughter.. my fresh blood daughter..
That Friday i went to get my medical review with your father. I was told by the doctor that i have a terminal disease and need an operation immediately. Otherwise i might have less then half a year to live only. It was my fault to pamper you when you were young. I spoilt you. I tried to be hard on you so many times but when ever you do your trade mark kissing baby face i couldn't resist but give in. But this time round i know i have no choice but to be really firm to you. I know you have to be more independent when I'm gone. You have to learn to take care of yourself. Every night i hide in the toilet crying. Feeling scare and pain in my heart. Hui Xian my only daughter.. my sweetheart.. Mummy love you.

Inside the envelope is $15000. The money was raised by your grandmother for my operation. But i know even if i go for the operation i might not recover also. So i lied to your grandmother for not going for the operation and took the money. If you take up part time and combine with this lump sum of money it should be able to sustain for your university. I'm sure my Hui Xian can be a very successful person. With love, mummy.

After reading the letter i ran out of the house straight to her tomb. Kneeling in front of her tomb. Crying forgiveness...
"Mummy.. I'm sorry. I'm the world most stupidest daughter. I have the best mum in the world please forgive me..."

'Epilogue'

With the lump sum and by taking up part time work, Hui Xian managed to complete her degree without any financial difficulty. And she met her boyfriend Lim Jun Lang in her university.
Jun Lang is from a slightly above average family and is going to become a teacher. Jun Lang never understand what Hui Xian meant by mother love and is a very logical thinking person. He always argue with Hui Xian saying " dad is still the one providing the money for our living. Dad should be the most noble person compare to mum." and so on..

-The End--

Part 2 coming up. :P

impact on friends

2009-11-14T10:00:00.003+08:00

When i took my first 'o' level English paper, i know i wouldn't make it through this time round.
From my understanding at that time is that, if you failed your English, you will not be eligible to enter any polytechnic. Therefor, i sort of like giving it up already and i didn't put in any effort for the rest of the subjects...

When the result was out, i got D7 for my English and C6 for the rest of my subjects.
I saw on my slip that I'm eligible for many of the polytechnic courses. Was relief at that moment. But that relief didn't live long. Later on i found out about another main criteria for entering the courses, "the cut of points ". My cut of point was bad. Many of my classmate didn't make it as well.. They all choose to enter a private school for taking their 'o' level. Wherelse i choose to go bad to my secondary school.
(meaning to say that i have been in secondary school for 6 years!!)

~~~

Mentally it is never easy to be a repeat student. People gossip and mock at you. I can only blame myself for that. I was given a seat at the back corner. The girl sitting in front of me was Sharon and beside my is Guang wen. Sharon will often initiate to swap seat with Guang wen. We became close. Soon we were together. My mum likes her so am i. Things was going ok until one day, she sms me this question; "Do you like Shu Yun more or do you like me more?" I replied and we became friend again.

~Polytechnic life will be my next post~

Will end this post with another story.

~~~

One day when i was a freshman in high school, I saw a kid from my class was walking home from school.
His name is Kyle. It looked like he was carrying all of his books.
I thought to myself, " Why would anyone bring home all his books on a Friday? He must really be a nerd." I had quite a weekend planned (parties and a football game with my Friends tomorrow afternoon), so I shrugged my shoulders and went on. As I was walking, I saw a bunch of kids running toward him. They ran at him, knocking all his books out of his arms and tripping him and he landed in the dirt. His glasses went flying, and I saw them land in the grass about ten feet from him. He looked up and I saw this terrible sadness in his eyes. My heart went out to him. So, I jogged over to him and as he crawled around looking for his glasses, and I saw a tear in his eye. As I handed him his glasses, I said, "Those guys are jerks. They really should get lives. " He looked at me and said, "Hey thanks!" There was a big smile on his face. It was one of those smiles that showed real gratitude. I helped him pick up his books, and asked him where he lived. As it turned out, he lived near me, so I asked him why I had never seen him before. He said he had gone to private school before now. I would have never hung out with Private school kid before. We talked all the way home, and I carried some of his books. He turned out to be a pretty cool kid. I asked him if he wanted to play a little football with my friends. He said yes. We hung out all weekend and the more I got to know Kyle, the more I liked him, and my friends thought the same of him. Monday morning came, and there was Kyle with the huge stack of books again. I stopped him and said, "Boy, you are gonna really build some serious muscles with this pile of books everyday! " He just laughed and handed me half the books. Over the next four years, Kyle and I became best friends. When we were seniors, we began to think about college. Kyle decided on Georgetown, and I was going to Duke. I knew that we would always be friends, that the miles would never be a problem. He was going to be a doctor, and I was going for business on a football scholarship. Kyle was valedictorian of our class. I teased him all the time about being a nerd. He had to prepare a speech for graduation. I was so glad it wasn't me having to get up there and speak. Graduation day, I saw Kyle. He looked great. He was one of those guys that really found himself during high school. He filled out and actually looked good in glasses. He had more dates than I had and all the girls loved him. Boy, sometimes I was jealous. Today was one of those days. I could see that he was nervous about his speech. So, I smacked him on the back and said, "Hey, big guy, you'll be great!" He looked at me with one of those looks (the really grateful one)and smiled. " Thanks," he said. As he started his speech, he cleared his throat, and began Graduation is a time to thank those who helped you make it through those tough years. Your parents, your teachers, your siblings, maybe a coach... but mostly your friends... I am here to tell all of you that being a friend to someone is the best gift you can give them. I am going to tell you a story. " I just looked at my friend with disbelief as he told the story of the first day we met. He had planned to kill himself over the weekend. He talked of how he had cleaned out his locker so his Mom wouldn't have to do it later and was carrying his stuff home. He looked hard at me and gave me a little smile. "Thankfully, I was saved. My friend saved me from doing the unspeakable." I heard the gasp go through the crowd as this handsome, popular boy told us all about his weakest moment. I saw his Mom and dad looking at me and smiling that same grateful smile. Not until that moment did I realize it's depth.

Never underestimate the power of your actions. With one small gesture you can change a person's life. For better or for worse. God puts us all in each other's lives to impact one another in some way. Look for God in others. You now have two choices, you can share this story to your friends or ignore it and act like it didn't touch your heart. As you can see, I choose to share with my friends.. :P
"Friends are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly. "There is no beginning or end.. Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is mystery. Today is a gift.

Leaf depart is becos of wind or tree?

2009-10-21T14:19:00.003+08:00

Tree
~~~~

The reason I'm called tree is because I'm good at painting trees. Overtime I start to use a tree on the right hand corner as a trademark for all my watercolors painting. I have dated 5 gals when I was in Pre-U. There's one gal who I love a lot but never dare go after her. She doesn't have a pretty face, doesn't have a good figure, doesn't have outstanding charm. She is just a very ordinary gal.

I like her. I really like her. Like her innocent, like her frankness. Like her cuteness, like her intelligence and her fragility. Reason for not going after her is because I felt somebody so ordinary like her is not a good match for me. I'm also afraid that after we are together all the good feelings will vanish. I'm also afraid other's gossips will hurt her. I felt that if she's my gal, she will be mine ultimately & I don't have to give up everything just for her. The last reason, made her accompany me for 3 years. She watch me chase after gals, and I have make her heart cry for 3 years.

She wants to be a good actress and I'm a very demanding director. When I kissed my 2nd girlfriend, she bumped into us. She was embarrassed but smile & say "Go on!" before running off. The next day, her eyes was swollen like a walnut. I purposely didn't want to think about what causes her to cry but laugh at her the whole day. When everybody go back home, she was alone crying in the classroom. She didn't know that I returned from soccer training to get something. I watch her cry for an hour or so.

My 4th girlfriend didn't like her. There was once when both of them quarreled. I know that based on her character she's not the type that will start off the quarrel. But I still sided with my girlfriend. I shouted at her and her eyes was filled shocked. I didn't care about her feelings and walked off with my girlfriend. The next day, she still laugh & joke with me like nothing has ever happened. I know that she's very hurt but she didn't know that my heart ache is as bad as hers.

When I broke up with my 5th girlfriend, I asked her out. After going out for a day, I told her that I have something to tell her. She told me that coincidentally, she has something to tell me too. I told her about my break up and she told me about her getting together. I know whose the guy. He has been going after her for quite a while. A very cute guy full of energy, lively and interesting. His pursuit for her has been the talk of the school.

I can't show her my heart ache but could only smile & congratulate her. When I reach home, the heart ache is so strong that I can't stand it. It's like a heavy weighted stone on my chest. I couldn't breath. Wanted to shout but can't. Tears rolled down & I broke down & cry. How many times have I seen her cry for the man that doesn't acknowledge her presence too.

During graduation, I read a sms in my hp. It was send 10 days ago when I broke down and cry. I haven't read it since then. It says "Leaf departure is because of Wind pursuit. Or because Tree didn't ask her to stay"

Leaf
~ ~~~

During Pre-U days, I like to collect leaves. Why? Because I felt that for a leaf to leave the tree she has been relying on for so long it takes a lot of courage. During the 3 years of Pre-U I was on very close terms with a guy. Not BGR kind but as buddy kind. But when he had his 1st girlfriend, I learnt a feeling I never should have learnt - Jealousy. The sourness in the heart can't be describe by using a lemon. It's like 100 rotten sour lemon. Sourness to the extreme limit. They were only together for 2 mths. When they broke up, I hide my strong sense of happiness. But after a mth, he got together with another gal.

I like him & I know he like me. But why won't he pursue me? Since he love me why he doesn't want to make the first move? Whenever he had a new girlfriend, my heart would hurt. Time after time, my heart was hurt. I begin to suspect that this is a one sided love. If he don't like he, why does he treat me so well. It's beyond what you will normally do for a friend. Liking a person is very heart wrenching. I can know his likes, his habits. But his feelings towards me I can never figure out. You can't expect me a gal to ask him right?

Despite that, I still want to be by his side. Care for him, accompany him, love him. Hoping that one fine day, he will come & love me. It's like waiting for his phone call every night, wanting him to send me sms. I know that no matter how busy he is, he will make time for me. Because of this, I waited for him. The 3 years were the hardest to go through & I really want to give up. Sometimes, I wonder should I continue waiting. The pain and hurt, the dilemma accompany me for 3 years.

Till the end of my 3rd year, a 2nd year junior begins to go after me. Everyday he pursuit me relentlessly. From outright rejection to a point in time when I felt that I'm willing to let him have a small footing in my heart. He's like a warm & gentle wind, trying to blow a leaf away from the tree. In the end, I realized that I didn't want to give this wind a small footing in my heart. I know this wind will bring this badly battered leave far away & better land. Finally I left tree, but the tree only smile & didn't ask me to stay. Leaf departure is because of Wind pursuit. Or because Tree didn't ask her to stay.

Wind
~~~~

Because I like a gal called leaf. Because she's so dependent on tree so I have to be a gust wind. A wind that will blow her away. When I first met her, it was 1 mth after I transfer to the new school. I saw a petite person looking at my seniors & me playing soccer. During ECA time, she will always be sitting there. Be it alone or with her friends looking at him. When he talks with gals there's jealousy in her eyes. When he looked at her, there's a smile in her eyes. Looking at her became my habit. Just like she likes to look at him.

One day, she didn't appear. I felt something amissed. I can't explain the feeling except it's a kind of uneasiness. The senior was also not there as well. I went to their classroom, hid outside and saw my senior scolding her. Tears were in her eyes while he left. The next day, I saw her at her usual place, looking at him. I walked over and smiled to her. Took out a note & gave to her. She was surprised. She looked at me, smiled & accept the note. The next day, she appeared & pass me a note and left.

Leaf's heart is too heavy and wind couldn't blow her away. It's not that leaf heart is too heavy. It because leaf never want to leave tree.

I replied her note with this statement and slowly she started to talk to me & accept my presents & phone calls. I know that the person she loves is not me. But I have this perseverance that one day I will make her like me. Within 4 mths, I have declared my love for her no less than 20 times. Every time, she will divert away from the topic. But I never give up. If I decide I want her to be mine, I will definitely use all means to win her over. I can't remember how many times I have declared my love to her. Although I know she will try to divert but I still bear a small ray of hope. Hoping that she will agree to me my girlfriend. I didn't hear any reply from her over the phone. I asked "what are you doing? How come you didn't want to reply? " She said, "I'm nodding my head". "Ah?" I couldn't believe my ears. "I'm nodding my head" She replied loudly. I hang up the phone, quickly changed and took a taxi and rush to her place & press her door bell. During the moment when she opens the door. I hugged her tightly.

Leaf departure is because of Wind pursuit? Or because Tree didn't ask her to stay...~

fyi-i'm neither tree nor wind. I'm sky.. cheers.. :p

running out of time.

2009-09-16T10:10:00.002+08:00

Aug 15th(sunday), went all the way to Redhill for soccer. Had a lousy game and worst still, 1 of the opponent tackle me from behind and we both fall. But when he fall, whole of his body weight rested on my right ankle. Result in twisting my right ankle and immediately my right ankle was swallow by about 1.5cm thicker. Spent close to $200 and 1 month of rest.
Yesterday started to played some badminton and netball. Ankle is 75% ok now.

Went to polyclinic to check whats wrong with my nose.
The doctor didn't help or give any advise. Or maybe i was just expecting too much from them. On my part i also didn't really know how to tell them about my condition. To be honest, I'm really struggling in both mentally and physically. I really hope i can live beyond 60 years old but can only say its very unlikely to even pass 40 year old.

Life is never fair. I dun smoke, i dun drink and i dun harm people. In fact i always try my best to help people who is less fortunate then me. And here I am not asking to be a millionaire or a hunk. I just want to live like any other people on the street. Have a family, retire at 60 and die at 70.

I can only say i envy you guys to be normal and healthy. Maybe you guys also feel that your life is hard. You always think money not enough, no gf, got family problem, colleague backstabing, work stessful. But truth is that you are asking too much and never feel contended. Learn to be contended learn to share and learn to forgive. Because, Life should be simple and happy. :)

running out of time

2009-06-02T08:04:00.022+08:00

On the 27th went to Sentosa with colleagues.

must be looking something interesting.. :p

Blocking M.T. from a pass. Steal it.. and start running... Twist from Z.X.

Turn him from left.. Left check.... Right push..

Body

strength... Compose and place the ball. And score.......

Initial plan was to meet 0845hr and stay there till 1600hr and then go for our dinner.

However.. due to the nature of our work, we didnt last very long out there. We are so used to the air-con and sitting down all day pattern.. (so lazy and fat now)

We were all shag out by 1200hr. We left Vivo at 1600hr. Long journey back to WDL. (1hr++)

The sun that i once was so familiar with was gone. I cant play under him like i used to anymore. (weak)

Watched Barcelona vs Man Utd that night. Final score Barcelona 2- 0 Man Utd.

Didnt feel that sad. Barcelona centre midfield was really one level higher then Man utd.

After that match i starts to prepare for work.

At work everything seems routine, until...

12 cars push out at DBG2!!!

I was rather disappointed with my performance. Due to lack of knowledge and my inexperience, i was sux. Most of the thing was done by my colleague. (i will do better next time)

After work went for netball match against KPMG. Lost 44-29.

Have to say that i had an eventful dae..

Long break from the blog

2009-05-16T13:36:00.004+08:00

10th of May after my morning shift i rushed to attend Ali(poly classmate) wedding at west coast.
First Malay wedding experience for me. :P
W L was celebrating mother day at her grandma house which is at AMK.
When i reached the wedding place, i was so lost.. I was like looking around for 10 minutes to find someone collecting the green packet. I couldn't find anyone i know. Somehow i just manage to use my ultra vision to spot someone that look like him(his mum) and passed her the green packet. Since my ex coach was staying in the same block, i decided to bring W L to visit him.
We stay there for about an hour. He is still as long winded as before.. After that I decided to bring W L to West Coast Highway Park. Once again using my ultra vision, i saw someone looking at me inside a car. It was Ali. I wave and smile to congratulate him. Feel happy for him. :)

Recently I have been busy with netball training and badminton. So long never play soccer..
Miss it like hell.

This morning i read an article about this 66 years old man who stay overnight in the airport for about 4 night per week. He once had 15 million worth of asset. He once have 3 lovely children(2 son and 1 daughter) and a beautiful wife. Over ambitious he lost his fortune and had to sell away his bungalow. His wife and 2 son left him. Luckily his daughter is still giving him $300 a month looking after him. Now he had to stay in a 1 room flat which he rent with another bullied that punched him twice already. Now he had only one proper meal once every 2 day. Somehow i just feel for him. I really feel sad for him. After going through so many setback, he finally learn the meaning and the beauty of this word "content".

Many of my friends and relative kept asking me to further my studies so that i can earn more money and have a better life. They are right. But i know myself that I'm too lazy to further my studies and i know that the job I'm having now is more then enough for me and my future family.

Next week will be a very tiring week. Hope I'm up to it. :P

Sec3...

Accompanied my classmate for the school badminton selection. With no intention to be selected but somehow was selected. :P In less then a month without any proper training i find myself representing my school for 3 matches. However after those 3 matches i quit the team( i lost all 3 matches). Really not up to it. :)

Sec4...

Yet another first day of school. As usual, the bell for the break time ring, my classmate and i rush down to the canteen as if we haven be eating for the last 3 days...
I was block by the lower sec students.( they are moving in 1 straight line to go back to their classroom) While searching for the gap to run through the straight line, i suddenly feel a very strong force coming towards me. Not knowing whats coming i felt nercous. And I wasn't prepare for this moment. Its the girl that i have been waiting for..
I was stunned. I cant took my eye off her. My hearts was beating as if i just finished a 100 metre races. And for the rest of the day, i just cant stop thinking about her. Shes the girl that i really feel i want to be with for the first time in my life.
After school i boarded the bus. I took the seat and was waiting for the rest of the passenger to board the bus. She came and was sitting 2 seats away from me. (dun have to describe how i feel right...)
Second week of the school. After my CCA, my friend hold me back and they pushed me to the front of that girl. I hold my nerves and introduce myself. And we became friend. :P
I was never good at wooing girls. After 4 months i did nothing to win her, except greeting and keep glancing at her. I didn't dare to make any more advance to her. And soon she was attached to another guy...

June holiday during St John camp

I was to be in charge of the equipment room. And this girl Su Jun from HKSS was with me all the time. She couldn't join others for the training due to leg injuries. Last day of camp some of them did approached me to exchanges contacts. Somehow Wei Wen and 2 of the trainee arranged an outing the next day(ice skating). That night 1 of the trainee called and asked me to wait for her friend call at 2am. I chat with her friend from 2am till 6am. Through out the outing i was very close with this friend i chat from last night, Miss Ho. After the outing i sent her home(stay very near me) and we chat on the phone again. AND... we became a pair. So fast... However, we didn't last long. We broke up about 1 month later. Can only say she was really nice to me.
2 weeks later i bump into Su Jun on the bus. We exchange IRC nick and soon we exchanged out contacts. And soon.. we became a pair... But we didn't last also. 1 month . Can only say Shes really cute..

After that relation, i was single again. Until...

Birthday 26

2009-04-15T10:08:00.011+08:00

Today is the ninth day since i took my IPPT. Cant believe i still have muscle ach from the small test. Should have do some training before taking the test. Well... once i feel i have recovered, i will do the booking for the next window. :P

12th of April 2009, the day that i turn 26.!!

Woke up at 0500hr for work. After work my colleague, Yap Ah Seng drove me to Compass Point. Stupid Wan Ling(my girlfriend) make me waited for more then 20 minutes. I called her house and her cellphone but no response.

Later i found out she was rushing to get a cake and finding a place to surprise me.

Hmm... 7/10 for effort but 2/10 for creativity... :0 (cannot compare with the two breakfast you made earlier this month. those two was the best. :p)

After that we went back to woodlands...

My brother and sister-in law treats us for a dinner nearby. Their kids, maid and our father were there too.

After dinner we went back to cut the cake. When just about to sing the birthday song, the channel we were watching happen to have people singing birthday songs too. So coincidence.. After that we watch the DVD which i borrowed it from Lee Meng Teck. Was not bad but i expected more from it.. :P

Stupid W L watched the show laying on my bed, so comfortable lor... wherelse the birthday boy have to sit on the cold floor for the whole of 2hours. After the show, i sent her back to YCK station and went home to rest (next day both of us have to wake up early for work).

Last but not least i have to do this once more... >> Thank you to my dear for the sweet effort you put in <<

Netball...

2009-04-10T23:18:00.005+08:00

Few of my OCC colleague and me myself recently joined the SMRT mixed netball training.

Initially was kind of like bored. Cause of the restriction of the games. But after last week training, i kind of like getting more and more joy from it.

But no other game can replace 'soccer' in my heart. One of the best thing in my life is to able to play soccer. :P

Well... as for the netball, there's competition coming up. Out of the 16 guys, only 8 will be chosen. I never have doubts about my ability. So i guess more or less i will be chosen by jac. :P

Hope Khairul, Meng Teck and Chit Lin will be in the same team. Good luck. :P

OMG... I'm too arrogant.

Jurongville Secondary School

Most people spend 4 years in their secondary school life which i find it too short.

For me, I spent 6 years in JVS. *ah bish* !! How did i do that? Lets find out...

First day of school was so exciting. I was in class 1N1.

Was really a fun class to be in. Mrs Hema was our form teacher. I still see her around in woodlands. My class was very active. Outside school hour, we will always go out to play basketball and soccer. Till these days we still meet up and play. Not that frequent due to

work commitment and shortage of man power. But every session was always full of fun and laughter. And we have been doing that for the past 12-13 years. Soccer just bound us together.

I joined athletic with Simon. Too bad the club closed down the next year and we both went to join St John. Simon didn't stayed for very long. He left and joined Chess club. I was also in the Chess club and i even represented the school. Each outing earn $3.50. :P

During my sec 1 and 2 life, i was very close with many of my classmate. But none was as close as Wei wen and Han Chong. The three of us always skip class, watch mid-night movie, dawn at each other place, eat pizza buffet and hang out at Jurong point together. Full of memory. :)

But we spilt up in sec 3. Reason was, HC mixed with bad company and WW back stabbed me a number of times. Anyway after so many years they have changed a lot, especially WW. Now we are good friends again. :P

Sec 3 to be continue...

Nick it through...

2009-04-07T20:14:00.002+08:00

I used to be very confident in taking my IPPT.
But, not anymore now.
Taking my IPPT for the first time since my ORD which is 2 years from now already, make me feel so nervous. So to boast my confident, I asked around my friends who had already took the test but none of their result was encouraging.
But nevertheless, i didn't learn from their result. I still have the sure pass mentality.
Until i finished my test just now, i finally changed my mindset.

Its my first time going to Khatib camp so I leave my house at about 1530hr. Confused and lost, i couldn't decide which route to take. In the end i took bus 911 then took train to Yishun station and then took bus 169 from there. (Under my blk already have 169 but i choose to go one big)
I approached the bus driver and asked weather i should alight at the next stop. He said yes so i press the bell and alighted. In the end i was 2 bus stop away before reaching...
Not bad for a warm up. I reached the camp and went to register at about 1640hr. I got the no.1 tag which means I'll be doing all the stations first.

And my result...
Sit up-40 counts = 5 Pts
Board jump-250cm = 5Pts
Chin up-11counts = 5Pts
Shuttle run-9.4sec = 5Pts
2.4km run-11.44min = 3Pts

2.4km was really slow...
but still glad that i got a silver. :P

Lets talk about my Primary school life...

Pre primary class-PPE
Our form teacher asked us to bring some food or snack to class on Children Day.
All my classmate brought sweet, biscuit or kway. I brought chocolate. And this classmate of mine brought instant noodles!!! He seat there and eat alone. OMG... So funny. :)

My primary school life have been a blank sheet.
I joined Computer club, Science club and badminton club.
My result was never good. I almost dropped to EM3. Sitting outside my principle office was a weekly routine. Not that I'm naughty but just that i am too lousy and untidy in my schoolwork.
However primary 6 form teacher Mrs Chan pulled me through. I manage to get to a normal academic stream and even got an A star for my math.

Last year we have this primary school gathering, erm... can say not bad only.
Han Qing and Ming Li are the only two primary school mate i still keep in touch. :P

Next post will be about my secondary school life. Should be slightly more colorful then my primary school life ba... :p

Kinder Garden

2009-04-05T00:30:00.002+08:00

Ever since i had that bad cough during this Chinese new year, my chest haven been well since. Feel like going for a X-ray this coming Monday. ( can predict i wont go, cos I'm simply lazy)
Hope i wont faint during my 2.4km run for this Tuesday ippt. :P

if i remember correctly, i have been in kinder garden for 1 year only.
after that i went to pre-primary(PPE) in Rulang Primary School.
Regretted i didnt exchange contact number with any of them.
During my time there, theres afew people and afew incident that i can clearly still remember it.

People---I really cant remember this best friend name.
I'm always with him and we connect really well.
i wonder how is he now. Really hope he is doing well now.
Another person will be this girl name Betty Lim.
At that time i really like her. Remember this stupid Indian boy took advantage of her
during our music class he kissed her!! So angry... :p
10 years later i met her twice in the bus. she don't recognise me but I'm sure she is Betty.
weird right.. how can i still know she is Betty right.. But i just know she is. :)
she was wearing Jurong secondary uniform. With that clue, i got my friend in Jurong sec to find out more and had confirmed that shes the one, Betty Lim..
After that she went to Jurong JC and then NTU. :)

Incident---Everyday we have a 40 minutes free playing time.
during this free playing time, we can play all the toys in the school; we can also meet up or play with students from other classes.
i am sitting at the centre of the room with one of my best friend playing those fruit toys.. :P
suddenly i saw one of my friend running towards me, shouting for help. He was being chase by 2 Malay guy. He hide behind my back and i held up one plastic banana up high in the air. When the one of the Malay boy running in front of me, i use the plastic banana and hit it on his head.
Blood starts to flow from his head. All i can remember after that was my teacher scolded me in front of the class and i went to the toilet and cried.

Next post Will be about my time in my primary school, Rulang... :P

deadline

2009-03-31T10:09:00.004+08:00

omg...
its just about 10 more days to my ippt deadline!!
i have talked so much about doing some training be4 taking the test..
but, its just talking without action.
checked with my friend about their result. erm... i can only say it make mi more nervous..
both of them failed.
i cant imagine myself going for the remedial training.
i just cant...
anyway whether i can pass or not, i still have to take the test.

last sundae went to find my poly friend for soccer.
i didn't played well but one of the goal i scored, is inside my top ten goals list.
crap aside.

tmr will be the start of April.
let mi list out some of the things i need to complete by this month. :)
-IPPT
-dinner with tampines staff (smrt training school friend)
-buffet sponsor by yiliang
-review at ttsh
-fixed my computer
-change my room cable box

creating a blog is something i always wanted to do.
i can express myself here; i can share my thoughts here; friends can get update about my life here but mos importantly is that i hope i can improve my english here. :)

this blog that you are reading now is created by 2 person.
mainly done by wanling. I'm the partly.. :P
still need to add some more thing be4 its really complete.
some of the things are...
-music
-pic
-counter

if possible, i will try to add some of my past at every ending of my blog.

lets go back to junze age 0-3

i was born in kk hospital.
i lived in kampong (lim chu kang ) for about a year and after that i moved to jurong west ( HDB).
be4 i was born, my uncle already booked mi as his god-son. (cant denied the fact that I'm too irresistible) jk. :P

(a really short post about my past. Will try to add more in my next posting)

Yi liang wedding

2009-03-25T23:56:00.003+08:00

nite be4 the wedding dae...

(2300) Feel so tired but i cant go to bed yet.. becos.. i haven choose the clothes for yiliang wedding.
i will be helping him as the 'brothers'. so i need to sets. 1 for the dae and 1 for the dinner.
As i was going through my cupboard, i suddenly realised that i have grow...
when i see the size no. in the pants i was like...
'omg... how did i manage to squeeze myself in those thing... , so tight... I'm not going to make it.'
and that's true... have to admit, i have lots of clothes, pants and jeans that i really cant wear anymore but, they are still inside my cupboard. Just cant bear to throw them away. always thinking i might need them one dae.. :P

the wedding dae
(0500) woke up and get myself changed up packed my bag and left my house...
(0630) bus-stop was so packed train so packed... thank god i'm working in shift.
(0755) reached yiliang place at jurong east and we left his house to bride house which is at geylang bahru.
we were caught in the traffic jam and was 15 minutes off the schedule. btw i am the daetime coordinator. :)
(0910) 1st obstacle... the negotiation for the price in opening the door... So traditional so good sch but was really fun.
actually nothing much,
1st was to eat lime n lemon.
2nd was the bitter veg plus wasabi.
3rd is sweet n honey.
4th eat banana but the banana is hang on my friend waist.
5th wear mask dance.
6th sing song.
after that... we bang in...
cant remember the actual amt yiliang paid but inside his bazzer he still has a few big hong pao to spare.. (good job)
(1415) after the dae event we went to marina mandarin hotel. i wanted to take a short nap in the helper room so i went to bath 1st and then Simon's turn.
after he bath he then decided that he need to go back and change a new shirt for the nite dinner..
omg... cannot be i alone stay in the hotel with the girlss rite... even though i wanted to but if my dear knows about it, I'm gonna be killed by her.. so i bite my teeth hard and accompany Simon back to his place. wrong move.. he told mi he will just change his shirt and leave, so i told him i will be waiting downstairs..
30 minutes past and i still cant see him. worst, it started to rain heavily until i finally see him in another 5 minutes time. ( he bath at home again...!!)
(1830) solemnization... was slightly tense inside the room call 'vanda'.
(1930) friend and relative starts to enter the ballroom
during the dinner, i had so much so much fun... have been the case whenever i meet up with them(sec sch mates). Cant believe we are turning 26 this year...
anyway I'm really glad to have them.

After the whole thing Simon drove mi home. i asked kokweng to accompany him( cos they stay in jurong and i stay in woodlands) Yiliang sms mi thanking mi for the help. can really feel he appreciate from his heart. Guess i didn't waste my leave to help this brother.. :p

sorri... no photos yet..
maybe next post.

testing 1, 2, 3...

2009-03-20T17:29:00.003+08:00

This will be the real testing of my blog message..
will be very different from the thing i wan to share in my blog.
guess i will delete the two testing messages soon i get a hang of it.
:P
I shall start by sharing some task i need to finish by this month.
Involvement in my secondary sch mate (yi liang) wedding as his 'brothers'.
(those early morning go knocking ppl door kind. :p)
will be meeting him later at bugis for further discussion.

This coming saturdae will be attending my another secondary sch mate ( chin hock)
son 1st month celebration. (wounder when his son will grew taller then then him. btw my friend is only 153cm. --jk)

testing completed.

have to go off now for a slow jog for incoming ippt.

2009-02-20T17:05:00.002+08:00

HELLO!